Author Topic: Kids say the darnedest things...  (Read 15429 times)

Offline Bryanpoprobson

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #105 on: May 21, 2020, 05:51:22 PM »
My granddaughter Eva does make me laugh, but tonight’s effort crossed the line. She thought it would be funny to ask mummy for a cuddle and sneakily rub slime in her hair. Mummy was not impressed.

« Last Edit: May 21, 2020, 05:54:00 PM by Bryanpoprobson »
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #106 on: May 28, 2020, 09:25:20 PM »
Ah, lamingtons, a very enjoyable treat for dessert (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamington) which we know the kids will eat.

Anyway, we picked up a pack of 18 lamington fingers to provide dessert for a couple of days. The usual deal had been one lamington finger for each of the kids...

7YOD: Why do you only give us one lamington finger each for dessert?

(I go to the kitchen and find there are seven fingers left. I serve two to each of the kids and save the last for myself.)

7YOD: Why did you give us two lamington fingers for dessert?

Me: *sigh*

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #107 on: June 01, 2020, 05:57:27 AM »
Movie time on Sunday afternoon

I put a movie into the DVD player.

12YOS walks in.

12YOS: What's the movie?

9YOS walks in.

Me: "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas.

9YOS: What's the movie?

7YOD walks in.


Me (curtly): "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas.

7YOD: What's the movie?

Me (exasperated): "The Three Musketeers", based on a novel by Alexandre Dumas! Doesn't anyone listen in this house?

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #108 on: June 01, 2020, 11:18:07 AM »
Yesterday, Graham put in Porco Rosso for Irene.  When I suggested she go watch it, she told me Graham had not put in Porco Rosso.  He put in Flying Pig.  (For those unaware, Porco Rosso is a charming Miyazaki film about a World War I pilot who is cursed and turned into a pig.  In the American dub, he's voiced by Michael Keaton.)
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #109 on: June 27, 2020, 02:54:41 AM »
Mummy is walking 10YOS and 7YOD to school.

Mummy notices 10YOS is trying to read a (Harry Potter) book as he walks.

Mummy: Please stop reading or you'll go splat.

10YOS: I'll be fine.

Another parent and child join the footpath a little front.

Mummy
: Please stop reading or you'll go splat, and I'll say I told you so.

10YOS: I'll be fine!

Parent in front sniggers.

They approach school and other parents approach with their kids.

10YOS starts to walk up the rough incline onto the school's sports ground, still reading. He walks into a tree but manages to stay on his feet. He looks around in case Mummy saw.

Mummy
: I did warn you I'd say 'I told you so.'

Other parents snigger.

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #110 on: July 01, 2020, 11:34:38 AM »
"I love you and Dad and even Simon!"
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #111 on: July 09, 2020, 11:54:51 PM »
7YOD opens fridge door to stare at contents. After a lengthy stare...

Mummy
: Shut the door, it's a waste of electricity!

7YOD (reluctantly shutting fridge door): But I'm looking to see what leftovers I can have for lunch!

Mummy: There's sausage risotto, quiche, chicken nuggets...

7YOD: Is there tuna bake? I really liked the tuna bake.

Mummy: Yes, there's tuna bake.

7YOD: Yum!

Mummy: So what do you want for lunch?

7YOD: Quiche.

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #112 on: July 10, 2020, 10:53:34 AM »
Simon's birthday is Sunday, and I've arranged to have a lot of my friends send him birthday cards.  Also, I'm not going out to buy things in person and am having them shipped.  So we've been having a lot of packages arrive.  Irene has apparently decided that whoever brings in the package in is the person the package belongs to.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #113 on: July 12, 2020, 12:50:12 AM »
Mummy is wearing a particularly fluffy sweatshirt. She sits down, and 7YOD climbs onto her for a cuddle.

7YOD
: Ooh, you're so beautifully cuddly. How do people make hammers?

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #114 on: July 12, 2020, 11:43:35 AM »
Simon's godmother and her mom, the kids' adopted grandmother, stopped by yesterday to do a social distancing birthday drop.  I came outside first with Irene, who said, "I supposed to say hi."
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates