Author Topic: Kids say the darnedest things...  (Read 72335 times)

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #225 on: May 03, 2022, 11:06:33 AM »
Yesterday, Sandy was granting wishes with a "wand."  (In fact a bubble wand.)  I'd actually been thinking recently about what wishes I would ask for if such a thing were possible, for reasons, so when she asked me my first wish, I said, "I wish all plastic were infinitely recyclable."

She paused a second, waved her wand, and said, "Okay!"  Did she know what I meant?  Not even a little!  But she was by-Gods going to grant my wish!
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

  • Saturn
  • ****
  • Posts: 1268
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #226 on: May 17, 2022, 06:17:09 AM »
11YOS was writing about his sister, 9YOD, for a class assignment:
Quote
Her room can be very messy. No, scratch that, her room is ALWAYS, very, VERY messy. It (most of the time, anyway) looks as if a squid-out-of-water tried to unwrap 50 presents while juggling 7 balls and playing tennis against an angry whale. And failing miserably.

11YOS writing about koalas for a class assignment:
Quote
Koalas have adapted to their environment with sharp claws to grip onto trees. They also have long, muscular arms and legs to help with climbing trees and rough skin on their feet to provide friction and prevent drop bear myths from coming true. Because believe me, you do NOT want a koala to fall on your head.

I understand some of his writing has been passed around the staff room. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed...
« Last Edit: May 17, 2022, 06:23:13 AM by Peter B »

Offline molesworth

  • Mars
  • ***
  • Posts: 349
  • the curse of st custards
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #227 on: May 17, 2022, 08:44:47 AM »
...
I understand some of his writing has been passed around the staff room. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed...
I'd go with "proud". He has a really great way with words, and a sense of humour to go with it. I foresee a career involving writing ahead of him  :D
Days spent at sea are not deducted from one's allotted span - Phoenician proverb

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #228 on: May 17, 2022, 12:56:23 PM »
Oh, yeah, I was definitely the kid whose writing got passed around like that.  I don't make a lot of money from my writing--darn bipolar disorder, making it hard for me to send things out!--but I make a little, and I enjoy doing it.

Meanwhile, I was playing Battleship with Zane yesterday.  Sandy was sitting next to me and told me, "I'm counting on you."
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #229 on: May 19, 2022, 11:05:53 AM »
Yesterday, Zane was given a "spy notebook" in a goodie bag for a classmate's birthday.  It's an ordinary notebook, of course, but it comes with a pen that writes in UV-visible ink, which of course comes with a UV light at the end.  So this morning on the way to his bus, we were talking about the spectrum.  I pointed out that, since the Sun also produces UV light, technically it was a colour from out of space.  Therefore, he knows more science now than H. P. Lovecraft.  He stuck his tongue out at me.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline BertieSlack

  • Earth
  • ***
  • Posts: 168
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #230 on: May 21, 2022, 03:27:24 AM »
Me: Who was the 2nd man to walk on the Moon?
My boy: Bob Lightyear

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #231 on: September 08, 2022, 11:12:14 AM »
To Sandy, about gulls: "Females."
Sandy: "What?"
Me: "Girls."
"What?"
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

  • Saturn
  • ****
  • Posts: 1268
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #232 on: November 18, 2022, 06:14:28 PM »
12YOS walks into the room where Mummy and I are watching the news.

12YOS: What's this about?

Me: It's about the mid-term elections in the USA.

12YOS (thoughtfully): Oh, yes, I'd forgotten they were coming up.

(And yes, he is indeed engaged with American politics!)

Offline Geordie

  • Earth
  • ***
  • Posts: 129
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #233 on: December 11, 2022, 07:02:14 PM »
[During conversation about Orion reentry]

12YOD: "When did they first land on the Moon?"

Me: "Sixty-nine."

12YOD: [snicker]

Me: "What's so funny about that?!!"

Offline Bryanpoprobson

  • Jupiter
  • ***
  • Posts: 823
  • Another Clown
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #234 on: December 12, 2022, 03:38:48 AM »
Snowing here in the UK so everything shuts down, including school. Grandchildren playing snowballs in the garden. Eva (7) puts one in her pocket and comes indoors. ā€œIā€™m saving that one for later on,ā€ says she.
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #235 on: December 12, 2022, 11:21:10 AM »
I had to talk Zane out of bringing one on the bus the other day.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Bryanpoprobson

  • Jupiter
  • ***
  • Posts: 823
  • Another Clown
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #236 on: December 14, 2022, 11:11:30 AM »
Eva explaining why she was on the class naughty list today, this child will be UK Prime Minister one day.

"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline gillianren

  • Uranus
  • ****
  • Posts: 2211
    • My Letterboxd journal
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #237 on: December 14, 2022, 11:35:21 AM »
Zane would sympathize.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

  • Saturn
  • ****
  • Posts: 1268
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #238 on: December 17, 2022, 10:06:54 PM »
9YOD learns ballet at the local dance academy. Last night they had their end of year show, so there were displays of contemporary, break, hip hop and jazz dancing as well as ballet, by kids from 5 to 18.

In the second half, one of the elite dance classes came out, each dancer carrying a chair. They arranged them in a V across the stage and sat on them.

Me: I hope they don't break the chairs in their routine.

12YOS: It's hip hop, not break dancing.

Offline Peter B

  • Saturn
  • ****
  • Posts: 1268
Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #239 on: January 20, 2023, 07:38:40 AM »
Spotted today, watching the TV on a coolish summer's day: 15YOS, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, under a blanket, with the fan blowing cold air at him.

When I asked him why he put the fan on if he was under a blanket, his reply was: "I didn't notice who put it on." (He did put it on.)

I mentioned this to my wife, who bluntly replied, "I think our son is an idiot."