Author Topic: Kids say the darnedest things...  (Read 7736 times)

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #60 on: March 12, 2019, 08:26:41 AM »
Mummy goes in to check on the kids two hours after bed time. 6YOD leaps up to give Mummy a big hug.

6YOD: Hello Mummy-doodles! What are the names of the four corners?

Mummy: What?

6YOD (pointing up, down, to the sides): North, south, east, west. What are the names of the four corners in between.

Mummy (considering this isn't particularly the time to engage in extended Q&A sessions): Go to bed!
« Last Edit: March 12, 2019, 08:31:29 AM by Peter B »

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #61 on: March 12, 2019, 01:13:40 PM »
Oh, have I been there!
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Bryanpoprobson

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #62 on: May 15, 2019, 05:28:20 PM »
So my little Granddaughter Eva has had a year of having selective deafness, she does have quite severe eye problems. So she has just had a hearing test and they determined her hearing was quite bad. So waiting to see the consultant, the junior doctor came out and asked to run the test again. When he took the results to the consultant they was indicative of her being almost totally deaf. After running the tests again they determined her hearing was very good with a minor difference of 1% in the two ears.
The consultant told my daughter that Eva literally tricked the Junior doctor during the first run of the test. For someone who has just turned 4, she is a little minx. 😂
Trouble is one of these days she will cry wolf one too many times.
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #63 on: May 24, 2019, 10:45:25 AM »
Irene was weeping a bit ago because I wouldn't let her put on pants.  Snow pants.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #64 on: June 14, 2019, 09:11:07 AM »
Last long weekend was a chance for me to take each of the kids to the local department store for a spot of clothes shopping, one each day.

As 11YOS and I drive home...

11YOS: How long did that trip take?

Me: I dunno, about 45 minutes.

= = = =

The following day, as 6YOD and I drive home...

6YOD: How long were we out?

Me: Ummm...about an hour. Why do you ask?

= = = =

The following day, as 8YOS and I drive home...

8YOS: How much time did we spend shopping?

Me (to myself): WTF?

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #65 on: July 07, 2019, 04:09:28 AM »
At the dinner table after the last day of school for the term...

6YOD: Just because it's the last day of school doesn't mean tomorrow isn't Saturday.

= = = =

11YOS to 9YOS: You need to pick up all these Pokemon cards on my bedroom floor.

9YOS: No I don't.

11YOS: Yes you do. They're your cards and they're on my bedroom floor.

9YOS: But you're the one who spread them all out on the floor!

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #66 on: July 09, 2019, 10:34:49 PM »
"Irene pretty hat!"

"Irene does have a pretty hat!  Are you pretty?"

"No, I beautiful!"
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #67 on: July 16, 2019, 12:59:20 AM »
Irene is listing her toys that are going to sleep.  So we say, "Yes, shhh, time to go to sleep."  Which she repeats to her toys, then says, loudly, "My dragon go to sleep!" or what have you to us.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #68 on: August 23, 2019, 08:22:51 AM »
School banking day is Thursday, so mummy has filled out the kids' banking books, placed 50 cents in each of their banking book pouches, and placed the pouches on their school bags.

Mummy to 9YOS and 6YOD: Don't forget your bank books when you get to school!

9YOS and 6YOD: We won't!

Mummy: Good. Now get in the car, we're late.

= = = =

Walking from the car to the school...

Mummy: Got your bank books?

9YOS: Don't be angry, but I've left my bank book in the car.

Mummy (rolling eyes): Right, back to the car. (To 6YOD) You go on and I'll catch you up.

9YOS's bank book is retrieved and left at Front Office. Mummy catches up to 6YOD as she lines up outside classroom.

Mummy: Did you hand in your bank book?

6YOD (in small voice): No, I forgot.

= = = =

Mummy to me, after telling me the story: And they object so strongly to being called goldfish on legs...!

Offline Bryanpoprobson

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #69 on: September 09, 2019, 07:57:16 AM »



He brushed his tooth and said that the tooth fairy would not want to take a dirty tooth.
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #70 on: September 09, 2019, 11:17:51 AM »
We haven't had a tooth out yet, but his best frenemy has--I was delighted to see that her mom is using the tooth pillow I made.  I gave one to all of Simon's classmates when they finished preschool.  Somewhere, I still have the one my preschool teacher made for all of us, and it seemed like a nice memento.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Bryanpoprobson

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #71 on: September 09, 2019, 02:51:09 PM »
Tooth pillows are not big in the UK, they are just becoming a thing though.
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #72 on: September 09, 2019, 10:02:58 PM »



He brushed his tooth and said that the tooth fairy would not want to take a dirty tooth.

Beautiful!

I note the way the "a" is written - a circle with a little tail off the side at varying angles - just the way my kids started writing it. And, impressively, only one letter back to front (and an understandable "d/b" mistake at that); my kids have been much worse at getting letters back to front.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #73 on: September 09, 2019, 10:10:39 PM »
Living in the house of pedants...

6YOD and 9YOS are playing a boardgame.

6YOD: Do you know where the dice is?

9YOS (exasperated): It's right there by your hand!

6YOD (equally exasperated): But you didn't answer my question: did you know where the dice was, yes or no?!

= = = =

...with the memories of goldfish...

11YOS barrels into the lounge room...

11YOS:
Mum?

Mummy: Yes?

11YOS: Um...never mind, I forgot what I was going to ask.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #74 on: September 09, 2019, 11:30:47 PM »
...but who at least see the value of lists...

Retrieved from 6YOD's bedroom floor while I was tidying.

= = = =

Job's in the morning

1 - Get drest
2 - Get brekfes
3 - Clen teeth
4 - Strech
5 - Get bag

= = = =

I haven't bothered to reproduce the creative mixture of upper and lower case letters, or the reversed characters.

Sadly, the existence of the list hasn't helped 6YOD with her morning tardiness, the management of which involves a considerable amount of parental Stern Language and Arm Flapping.

However, Wife and I had a good laugh at point 4, and then she noted that 6YOD hadn't included anything about hair preparation or selection of appropriate JoJo Bow, both of which can involve more time than 6YOD is willing to admit.