Author Topic: Kids say the darnedest things...  (Read 2661 times)

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2018, 10:38:45 AM »
5YOD: What's for dessert?

Mummy (mysteriously): That depends.

5YOD (walking away, thoughtfully): I wonder what Depends is? (To brothers) Boys, we're having Depends for dessert!

:D :D :D Hope they were unsoiled :D :D :D

:-o ;-)

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2018, 10:39:19 AM »
I take the kids to the local sports ground, where there's a football game in progress. They notice that the jerseys of one team feature a lion.

5YOD: Oooh, I love lions! They're my second favourite animal.

8YOS: What's your favourite animal?

5YOD: Butterflies.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2018, 10:46:29 AM »
Keep in mind that Down Under we've just started the third of four terms for the school year, so 5YOD is now half way through her first year of school, and Knows How Things Work.

I'm dropping 5YOD and 8YOS at school. 8YOS has gone off to sort himself out, while I help 5YOD. She hands me her water bottle which I refill at the dispenser while she unloads the rest of the things from her bag. We then walk to her classroom together. (Outside the classroom there are labelled baskets for the kids to place their various food items in - one for lunch, one for fruit break, one for drink bottles.) I hang the water bottle from one finger so she can easily grab it from me.

5YOD: Oh no, Daddy. You know where the water bottle goes - in the basket with the picture of the water bottle on it.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2018, 01:45:22 AM »
5YOD: Do you have to go to university to be a mother?

Mummy (laughing): No.

5YOD: So why did you go to university?

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2018, 10:51:36 AM »
As a stay-at-home, I really feel that one.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #35 on: August 18, 2018, 10:46:34 PM »
10YOS to 8YOS: Do you know what Annikin Skywalker was before he was Darth Vader?

5YOD: A baby?

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #36 on: August 20, 2018, 11:21:13 AM »
I saw the Punch and Judy show at faire yesterday, and the enthusiasm with which those kids threw themselves into the spirit of the thing was great.  A kid behind me also kept up a bit of a running commentary about what Mr. Punch was saying.
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #37 on: September 09, 2018, 03:41:35 AM »
8YOS in the shower, needing some help from Mummy with adjusting the water temperature...

8YOS: Make it colder!

Mummy adjust accordingly.

8YOS: Colder!

Mummy adjusts accordingly.

8YOS: Colder!

Mummy: I can't make it any colder. The hot tap's turned off.

8YOS, sheepishly: Oh, sorry, I meant make it hotter.

Offline Bryanpoprobson

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #38 on: September 09, 2018, 12:52:26 PM »
My 3yo granddaughter Eva has recently been diagnosed with eye problems, her right eye is 6.5 and she is almost blind in that eye and her left eye is 4.5. I was walking down to the beach the day after her diagnosis with her and two of my other grandchildren. I said, “can you see that big boat out to sea?”
To which Eva replied, “There’s no boat Grandad, you are trying to trick me!”
I welled up. But on a good note 3 months down the line with corrective lenses, her eyesight is improving, she may have to wear a patch for a couple of months to make her right eye do more work.
"Wise men speak because they have something to say!" "Fools speak, because they have to say something!" (Plato)

Offline twik

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #39 on: September 10, 2018, 11:21:16 AM »
One of my mother's friends told me how getting glasses as a child changed her world - instead of a smooth green carpet, grass has points! Instead of being round blobs, trees had leaves! It was a complete transformation of the world she knew.

Offline gillianren

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #40 on: September 11, 2018, 11:03:47 AM »
Irene is sort of starting to talk.  (I still need to call today to see if she qualifies for our district's before-three speech therapy program, though.)  Yesterday, she was saying, "Coogee!"  "Cookie?"  [nods]  "You think you should have a cookie?"  [nods]  "Can you say 'Mommy'?"  [for background, she says "Dada" and even "Daddy" a lot, but "Mama" only sparingly; Simon was the same way]  "Coogee!"
"This sounds like a job for Bipolar Bear . . . but I just can't seem to get out of bed!"

"Conspiracy theories are an irresistible labour-saving device in the face of complexity."  --Henry Louis Gates

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #41 on: October 01, 2018, 12:28:55 AM »
5YOD: Mummy, do you remember when we were in Sydney last year we watched that movie?

Mummy: Which movie?

5YOD: The one with the cats.

Mummy: Was this an animation or did it look real?

5YOD: It didn't look real.

Mummy: Can you tell me a bit more about it?

5YOD: Well, there was this lady and she had a cat and some kittens.

Mummy: Oh, you mean "The Aristocats"?

5YOD: Yes, that's the one!

Mummy: Well, what about it?

5YOD: Well, the lady had this way of dangling her slippers from her feet when she was sitting down, and I'm going to do the same thing with my new slippers that we just bought.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #42 on: October 08, 2018, 08:54:56 AM »
5YOD: I need somethink.

8YOS: SomeTHINK?

5YOD: Yes...You know, like something to think about...

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #43 on: October 31, 2018, 06:59:46 AM »
Our kids are asked to take a piece of fruit to school each day for the 10am Fruit Break - usually a banana because you can write the kid's name on it.

However, yesterday 8YOS came home with his banana, which he proceeded to eat for afternoon tea. I was curious...

Me: So why didn't you eat your banana during Fruit Break? Did you forget?

8YOS (scornfully): Of course I didn't forget. It was the teachers who forgot.

Me: So why didn't you remind the teachers?

8YOS (pausing for a moment): Because I forgot.

Offline Peter B

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Re: Kids say the darnedest things...
« Reply #44 on: October 31, 2018, 07:04:52 AM »
In May each year local high schools have their open nights. My wife and 10YOS went to a few to help determine which school would be best for him in Year 7. Apparently 10YOS had his own criteria for deciding which one was best for him...

A couple of days ago I went to school to pick the kids up from After School Care. 8YOS was reading an Asterix comic when I arrived. 10YOS noticed this, and cheerfully informed everyone, "At the high school Mum and Dad are thinking would be best for me, I found they have Asterix comics in their library."